I have this
acquittance, and I had heard him say it before, that he has had an
spiritual experience, that he has met God. At first, I brushed it off
- people are different, have different beliefs and hell yeah, I was
adopted by a witch in my early twenties and have a shaman for a
little brother. But something drastic, to me, happened last night. We
were talking on that subject, sort of just chit chat, including me
and my living partner, an atheist, sort of joked, that some
Christians say, that Harry Potter is evil, and he said, that yeah, in
a way it propagates evil. ...And in the spur of the moment I
mentioned my spiritual encounter - what just might be a sign of
mental illness, I do not deny - and my novel bot The King of Angels.
And he said, that you know what, Angels have no kings, but demons do.
When I tried to get more info, he blocked me, like I do not want to
talk about it-style. And said something like you should not get into
it - like a specialist talking to a commoner. A bit later he went on,
that he has looked into quantum physics and stuff and has received so
much info about ... connections to God? The True Nature Of It All?
... Honestly, perceived by me as giving off the feeling, that oh, I
am so smart, you can not touch me because all of my knowledge, which
You Do Not Have. And added, if I want to know that stuff, that he
knows, I should read the books and stuff. A bit of a break: Bill
Maher, The Best of Religion Stand Up
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvzD_q-eGoo40:14).
“I don´t know”: “Why would you believe, what some other
human being, who´s brain, I promise you, is no bigger nor better
than than your, he tells you, he knows, what happens, when you die”.
Or that the angels in my book may be demons, because oh, angels have
no king, but demons do.
And yes, it all got mi fired up. I have this safety valve, what
snaps, when someone tries to control me, aka tell me what is what,
what I should write or read. Because I have had a load of that shit
in my past, when my self-esteem was stripped low and I actually took
it. The years and life in between have made me the opposite: a sign
of behaviour like that and the red light is on. To me, anyone or
anyone who tries to control how others are perceiving the world and
how they are acting - of course, telling not to kill and to follow
the f*cking Highway Code are
things, some people hear, but do not follow and so.. lots of bodies,
now dead .. and oh, social moral code, telling not to be an asshole -
is wrong, down in the base/root concept and
the people who try to, who think they are obliged, privileged to do
so.. have screws loose. And as you might have understood from the
last long sentence, I approve things, what have evolved to protect
and to help people coexist.. like the Highway Code, but I do not
accept a guy, who has delusions of meeting God telling me, that he is
a opinion leader on the topic of .. what? Just read the Maher quote
again.
We
had a heated messed up argument too the other day. I guess I messed
it up too, because .. I wanted to feed him info on the novel he had
defined, without ever reading it, based on maybe 10 words, max 20. I
wanted to give him more than 20! To make him realise, that he should
know something, before he starts to define! it. And also, I did not
tell him, that my question about my world of Angels being possible
was a tiny joke, not that I believe in it. I think of it as a story.
A mental experience, what probably is a sign of mental illness and
yes, I haz it - depression with mother´s milk and probably some else
too - And I am Not Denying. And so he thought that I am trying to get
him to validate my experience to.. be on par with his? When I was
actually trying to flunk his right to define me, to control my
content. So wrong. Why do I need .. a validation from a co-nut, who
hs not got far enough to realise, that he his one of many with an
experience and not a pinnacle nor leader.. reminds me of Igor Volke -
look him up. Oh and he pissed me off by starting to call me names..
Wuss. Right back at you.
And
so this piece, of probable shit, was born. A part of verbal
metabolism, to get stuff out, before it becomes poison. Welcome to
the world of “If You Want To Be An Asshole In Private, To Not Piss
Me Off, I´m A Writer”. And bye. Enough of this crap.
