Why is "Love for the sun" in this blog, not the other one?

Listen while reading: Foo Fighters The Pretender
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjQ9tuuTJQ&list=RDSBjQ9tuuTJQ#t=2






It seems to fit the poetry/ novel pieces/ anime fan rants/ rpg and larp fan rants blog much more.. but it does not.


In Apelsinitiiger/Orange(fruit)tiger the style is highly non-personal.
This baby here, is way personal.



"Love for the sun" is one of my most biographical works ever.



The story starts with me in my tenth grade and him in his eleventh.
An outcast and bullied girl and a man, who walked through the school like a crack in the reality. He just was bigger and more than everything.
Yet very human.
Not noted in the piece, we used to see each other as sort of friends after my graduation and after that had meet-ups once a year, where we would pour out, what had happened between and after just walk our separate ways again.
So.. after having had a crush for an amazing stranger, I got the chance to see the amazing person.
That is where the love came from.
Some of the things I learned about him, that he was a workaholic and overachiever and so I am not surprised about where he has ended up professionally and actually thinking, that he can and will do more... he is one of these people, who can shake the world.
Or maybe it is the old crush speaking.
In time, in my heart a new goal was born. To be his friend.
Someone, who would not drag him down, but would be standing next to him as an equal.
So.. years came and went.
With this goal ...
Let´s say, that in professional life .. his CV outshines me bigtime, but me.. I have changed and grown.
When I used to be this loner living inside my head, making up stories.. I have by now *drafted up*
a novel/trilogy/more and am currently working on expanding it - not only in making the story bigger and more complex, but also converting it into a LARP and RPG setting.

And that because I have been surrounded by good friends, most LARPers and am a LARPer myself too. And my life partner, for 2 years now, is a LARPer and beginner GM too.

LARP and RPG have helped me grow as a person in so many ways, I have cleared out so many of my own problems through the games.

I have become not only a feminist and an open and out speaker about depression and Japan-is-rotten and LARPconverter end -enthusiast, but also:

A Pirate, the only one turned fire dragon

A Demon, the only winged one in Earth´s skies

A Silvershadow, a hotheaded young protector of The Worlds´ balance

And will soon be:

The Pirate Queen of Mytona, soon to be Queen of The First Realm, of all folk silvery and human, rennan and kataar and all else - all of them will bow to me, loyal and satisfied.

So.. with having that one goal in my heart.. I did not become his friend, but became his equal.

I no longer feel tiny.

I feel like a dragon.

And yes, in my Uni the teaches probably tell stories about me. Probably not good ones. I stood up and .. in a polite way, defeated them. Most do not know.. but some teaches recognize me still and the look in their eyes.. hopefully not fear.. puzzlement surely.

So this is me.

Not single and very happy being so.

With an actual meadow of dandelions showing from my fav window, what faces the Sun. All day.

I no longer need him. Nor want him.

But he, the way he was, made me.

And I am thankful.

I would not be here without him.

Nor would Earth have life without Sun.

End of Rant.

Old blog

If interested, check it out:

http://apelsinitiiger.blogspot.com.ee/

Love for the sun

There used to be a young man, larger than life.
There used to be a young woman, a year younger than he, feeling smaller than anything.
She used to be in love with him, he knew.
Was he in love with her? Maybe.
She was insecure and young. Made mistakes. Might have been a pain in his ass, but he never said anything.
He was corrupted, she seemed pure.
He left her.
She was overrun by life.
She changed.
The innocence left unprotected means death or worse.
Good and bad are relative.
The weeds are hard to kill.
She loves dandelions.
Her grandmother used to weed out dandelions mercilessly, they are yellow, a colour of whores, she used to say.
Her daughter had two children with a married man.
The young woman was her daughter´s daughter.
The young woman loves dandelions. They are like the sun to her and she loves the sun.
In time she accepted, that he and she is never going to be.
She learned to love him. Loves him like she loves the sun.
She changed.
Instead of breaking her, the world let her change.
You can not see, but she does not only have a backbone, but scythes growing from her bones and fire as her blood.
She found love, she became loved.
She now has a home.
She now has a view to a meadow of dandelions from her favourite window.
She loves weeds.
Everything has a place and value in this world.
She has found hers.
She grew larger than life.
Thanks to him.
Her sun.